-PWA Tag-Team Championship Match: The Cunning Stunts (Matt Knoxville and Scott Davis Helmsley) vs. Chris Young and Justin Harris

Good luck.

The camera pans to Chris Young, who is seen at PWA headquarters. He has on sunglasses, jeans, leather jacket and is chewing gum. He begins to talk while doing so.

We all have our critics. Last week, I basically threw my balls in my critics' faces and made them taste it after I purposely beat Chris Elite to a bloody pulp and it just makes me cringe in anger at how he is still engaged in that seven man ladder match for the PWA championship at Vestige of Victory. The fact that he is in it and I'm not is straight up indolent and retarded because I was cheated out of a victory. I deserved a second chance and, even after I demolished it, I still have to settle for last place, but it's not going to happen. You see, I will team up with Justin Harris to face two coriaceous-minded losers who should go by the annoying cunts instead of the cunning stunts because they're anything but cunning. Matt, I'm sick of having to hear your stuck up ass running around the locker room expressing stupidity upon everyone else with your egomatic statements. With that crooked mind of yours, the only thing that you're cunning at is having negative wrestling skills. A superstar of my stature shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence as a lowlife, grade F bitch like you. I mean, seriously, your spurious personality makes my mind bleed. You're boring, unoriginal, and forged. At Vestige of Victory, I will see to it that you get the beating you deserve.

A PWA worker hands Chris Young a gallon of water. He takes it and starts chugging. He finishes the whole gallon of water in less than 20 seconds and starts back talking.

Why should I even bother to explain the chaos that is Scott Davis Helmsley? Scott, you are one complication of life that no one can get over. You are the little tick that everyone has been trying to smash and it will be done. It will be done at Vestige of Victory when me and Justin take those tag team titles and become the first ever tag team champions of PWA. As much as you would like to be the brightest of the bright, you're not even close. A statue has more knowledge built inside it, wanting to come out than you weigh. You're the definition of a mess. Indeed, you will fail and you won't have anyone else to blame except for the fact that you are a goofball and you have a failure for a partner. You're not even half the man I am. If you were, you would give up right now because that would be the smart thing to do whenever you get into an altercation with me. I'm a technical master. I have been NCAA wrestling divisions champion and, if you even give me the slightest look I don't accept, I will not hesitate to wrap my leg around your scrawny little neck and break it. You're not a match for me or Justin and, if you don't want to accept the truth, just step in the ring with us at Vestige of Victory and it will be the last thing you will ever do, pal.


Chris Young looks at a PWA employee with a mean look. The PWA employee glances at Chris Young and is now scared. Chris Young gets up and resumes talking.

Justin Harris is not my best friend. He's even said it's hella clear we don't like each other, but we both share the same obstacle. We both want to be the best. So, when you take two men who's great desire is to be the best and, if they're as professional as us, they will put their differences aside and give their opponents one hell of a fight. You see, me and Justin see eye-to-eye. We're not short minded like the rest of you morons. We're a unit and we're cooperative. There's no one on this Earth that can compose as much determination as us. We might have gotten screwed out of a world title shot, but that doesn't mean that there is a dead end on the road. As a matter of fact, this road will be a long ass one and it will not hit a dead end anytime soon, so that goes for everyone in that locker room, listening to this. This sin't an ordinary tag team. This is the ultimate tag team of the industry. This is The Dynamic Adrenaline!!! And, at Vestige of Victory, Dynamic Adrenaline will dominate The Cunning Stunts' asses and we will do it our way, at our time and that time is that Vestige of Victory! Be on the look out because we will take what we desire and what we desire is the tag team championships and Matt, Scott, we will kick your asses to do it!

Chris Young knocks everything off the desk of the main office on purpose and walks out as the camera fades to black.

Why did you quit?